If you’re human you probably have told yourself at least a white lie now and then. Ever told yourself you’ll start your diet tomorrow? Or that you don’t need to go to the doctor because you never get sick. Simple denial can work for a long time. This happens so easily to victims of domestic violence. After all, we are trained by our abusers to question every thought we have. We learn to doubt our own instincts. And so we stay.
If you’re not sure if you’re being abused, Everydayhealth.com posted this easy list of questions to ask yourself.
Does your partner:
- Hit, shove, slap, kick, punch, or choke you?
- Threaten to hurt or kill you?
- Call you names or tell you that you are crazy?
- Criticize things you do or say, or criticize how you look?
- Hurt your pets or destroy things that are special to you?
- Blame you for the abuse he or she commits?
- Limit where you can go, what you can do, and who you can talk to?
- Unexpectedly check up on you at your workplace, home, school, or elsewhere?
- Force you to have sex, perform sexual acts you’re not comfortable with, or sexually assault you?
- Threaten to have you deported?
- Apologize and tell you it will never happen again (even though it already has)?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. There are people who can help you. You are not alone. Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend, a doctor, or a help center. Talking with someone can help you make the changes you need to stay safe.
Some lies we tell ourselves don’t really mean that much. This one could mean everything.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline can help you find resources in your area. This nationwide database has detailed information on domestic violence shelters, other emergency shelters, legal support and assistance programs, and social service programs.
- Call 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233).
- Call 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).
- Visit the website at: www.ndvh.org.